Slow Days and Saturdays

So it's Wednesday, middle of the week, beginning of the slide into the weekend. Yay!

Except for one simple fact: the day simply will not proceed at anything resembling a decent pace. So inconsiderate, right? I mean, Monday and Tuesday at least had the decency to move along at something resembling a rate of 1 second per second, but it seems like today doesn't want to do that.

I wish I had something resembling an idea of why time seems to flow differently like this. I know that it's a human perception thing, of course time isn't actually going slower today just to spite me. But there are certainly factors leading to that perception that I don't know about, much less how to avoid and/or harness them to my satisfaction.

Maybe part of it is the simple act of observation. I mean, how much longer do the days seem as an adult rather than when we were kids? Some days seemed to go by so quick when I was spending time out playing with my friends, and now I'm here in an office, waiting on the next order to come down so I can process it all and the clock just seems to refuse to tick over.

Of course, on a larger scale the reverse seems true, too. It seems like I've only been married a few weeks, but it was nearly a year ago. I wish I could slow down my time with her, rather than speeding headlong into the future.

But, if I could control time, you'd have to call me The Doctor. And I don't have a TARDIS.

Dreams

Let's start with a single statement of the obvious: dreams are weird. I think we can all agree on that one. I mean, half the time you're falling from an infinite height into an eternal abyss, the other half you're standing naked in your high school speech class, am I right?

Of course, that's a gross simplification. Emphasis possibly on gross. I mean, most people don't remember many of their dreams. I know I don't. I can count the dreams I recall from my 26 years of life on one hand. Now, one was when I was a kid and just kinda strange (features Droopy the Dog and the house from Casper the Friendly Ghost - please, don't ask; I was five).

One, and probably the most disappointing, was one of those half-awake dreams, and I recall vividly watching a brand new episode of Firefly, possibly from the second season. Unfortunately, there are no new episodes of Firefly, much less a season 2, and I couldn't remember what the plot was about after I got up. Still gets me a little sad thinking about it...

The other two, however, were more significant. Each one gave me a touch of insight into my relationship with my now wife. I won't go into any details here, but I remember each one as if I lived it, even in their strange details - one took place at UAH, but the building was the church I went to back home - and learned some important things that helped me not long afterwards.

So when, this morning, I woke up suddenly to my alarm, remembering only that I'd had a very vivid dream but not having any of the content, I was a tad frustrated. Because dreams are more than just strange visions of your subconcious (though they can be that at times). They are important ways you can learn more about the world you live in, and how you should relate to it.

Thoughts and Impressions from the Tau Empire

First off: I posted a new video on YouTube! Called the Strategy Guide, it should be the first in a monthly series of videos trying to give tips to intermediate level tabletop players, learning to apply higher-order skills than just the basic rules. Go check it out, I did the voice over for it this month and even show up in a shot! Check it out if you've got five minutes.

Anyway, I finally got in a game with my new Tau, and have to say I was duly impressed with them when I finally got a few things down with them. Not everything worked as intended, though, and so we'll give the rundown here, in no particular order, of the things I have learned thus far.

1. The Riptide has to be shepherded closely. Using the Ion Accelerator, I managed to kill precisely nothing with this model across the four turns of the game. Twice he burned himself with his own weapon, despite having to roll two 1's in a row to do that. The other two shots scattered so wildly that it was more than a little rediculous; fortunately, he didn't hit my own troops with those either. He obviously either needs to just fire the normal mode or switch to the burst cannon option, but more testing is required to see if the model is truly cursed.
2. Markerlights are AMAZING when used in close concert with your men. I managed to destroy a Razorback, a combat squad and Ulrik the Slayer with only a few units because of markerlights boosting ballistic skill and the high rate of fire offered by burst cannons and Ethereal backed Fire Warriors (more on that in a minute). It's a touch tricky getting the order down right on how to fire all your markers, though, so I still need to work on my shooting order and target priority.
3. Related to the markerlight note, the two flyers in this codex simply aren't worth it. They are nice little planes and have good abilities, but they compete for spots in the army with Pathfinders, which are the primary way to get markerlights in the army. Were there a way to make Pathfinders troops, we would likely see the flyers hit the table, but as it stands the opportunity cost is simply too high on them.
4. Ethereals are fantastic for what they cost. 50 points nets you a 12" Ld 10 bubble to anchor your firing line with and confers Stubborn to the unit he's attached to, which are both nice abilities in and of themselves. However, he also has his Invocation of the Elements ability, which is simply amazing. I used it to good effect in this Relic game, allowing a Fire Warrior squad to move forward towards the objective, and then run and still snap fire (which my markerlights made back into normal or better shooting), getting to the objective first. Then as the eneemy closed in I could increase the output of my Fire Warriors by 50%, mopping up squads with relative ease. Definitely worth it.

I'm going to try and get a few more games in over the next couple of weeks, and we'll see if that backs up my assertions.

Follow-up: Worry isn't worth it

So, yesterday I wrote a post about worry, and job interviews, and all that jazz. Well, first off, the Lord does work in His own ways and time, and I now have a new job! Was quite amazed and a little shocked at how fast it all happened, feels a little like a dream, but it really happened.

Which brings me to my point: all that worrying I did last week was for nothing. I was so worried that the other job would take me away from things I felt I needed to do, from things I wanted to do, and it turned out not to matter. I knew the other job would give me and Alicia more in the way of financial security, and it would have given me a little more downtime to recover, but the trade-off was just too great in my mind, which is what was making me fret over it.

But now, none of that is an issue. I truly believe the Lord was with me through it all. I was so much more confident during the interview itself, I actually didn't worry about it beforehand much. And I was hired literally less than an hour after the interview was over. I was just so blessed through the entire process that it had to be the Lord's hand involved.

So, the biggest point is: what did I learn? I learned that worry doesn't change anything, and when looks like my best option is horrible, there just may be a better one coming along the pipeline. Patience may be hard, but there's a reason why it's a virtue.

I Worry Too Much...

Does anyone else hate interviews? I know I do. I've got another one today that I think is for an even better job than last week's was. Does it have it's own issues? Of course, but I think it would be better for me long term.

But to come to the point: I worry about it. I chalk it up to the fact that I think too much. Whenever something comes up, I always analyze it, try and figure out possible outcomes and how it could affect how I live my life, those around me, what have you. And, as is possibly inevitable, those scenarios are usually decently grim.

I try and be a positive person. I let the bad things roll off my shoulders whenever possible. But when I'm coming up to a big decision point - like a job interview - all I'm able to do is think and ponder and worry about it.

And that really, really bites.

Yesterday, I posted Proverbs 12:25 on my Facebook page: "Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up." Two days before, I posted a very similar passage from Luke 12. You'd think that, with all the Bible has to say about worry - in a word: don't - I'd be able to move past it. And I'm trying to, I really am.

But for now, all I can do is pray that what should be will be, and try and turn my mind off for a while. So glad that I have absolutely no downtime at my current job... wait a minute... ;)

Time to work on some more Tau lists...

Emotional Responses

I am such a nerd. I freely admit this to any and all who might think to question the fact, not that I think my readers would question it. I am not only a fan of Star Trek and Star Wars, but I also count myself as a Whovian, a fan of BBC's Doctor Who. It's an amazing show that defines a completely different spectrum of science fiction than the other franchises I mentioned, using or ignoring the actual "science" parts in favor of a storyline that is one part children's fantasy, one part complex characters and characterizations, and one part running. Well, maybe two parts running. Well, maybe more. There's a lot of running.

But more to the point, I've recently gotten my wife hooked on it as well, and as we're rewatching the show, I'm realizing just how sad some of the best episodes are. When the Ninth Doctor left, she cried even though she didn't really like him. Just last night, we watched the last episode with Rose Tyler, and she cried. We had started with the Eleventh Doctor, and when we finally watched the midseason closer of series 7 and saw the Ponds leave the show, we both cried. (Yes, I'll admit it. If you didn't cry, you very well could be a dalek.)

So I'm just trying to figure out now, is this a part of how humanity works? Why do we consider stories that can make us weep like that to be superior? I mean, I may be making my wife cry with Doctor Who, but she has openly admitted that she enjoys the show.

It could be that we simply enjoy finding works that can make us feel emotions that deeply. After all, we don't cry for poorly-written characters or badly-executed stories; only detailed stories will do. But by that logic, we should be happy for characters that do well, and shouldn't that be a more desirable outcome, a better way to do stories? You don't want your audience to walk away from your work in tears, do you?

But that would make for a boring story. Who would like a story where the main character is happy all the way throughout? After all, it is in the darkest times that we find out who we are. Conflict and yes, tragedy, define us in ways we can't even name. In the end, I guess the question kind of answers itself: we enjoy these types of stories, the ones that don't always end well, because they are unquestionably human stories. Every life has its ups and downs. And while we may not see the ups very often in our stories (though Doctor Who does have many of them, thank goodness), we come together over the downs because each and every one of us has been there.

I'll just have to remember to keep a box of tissues at hand next time we watch the good Doctor. For my wife, I mean. Yeah...

Spring

Ah, Spring. That wonderful time when everything blooms, new life springs forth from the earth and relieves the barren wastes of winter, banishing all thought of snow and ice in exchange for the sunshine and beauty that will be summer.

Well, in theory, anyway. This spring has so far been colder than the end of winter was, and with all the pollen in the air I could never really enjoy spring anyway. But that's neither here nor there (I promise, I haven't resorted to the weather already in this blog!)

This past weekend, my wife and I spent most of our time doing that dreaded thing that happens every spring in every house: spring cleaning. Just as the earth banishes the clutter of winter, so must we in our own homes. We put up new curtains, a new bookcase, got out new bedding, rearranged a room, and took out quite a bit of trash, and it made me realize just how much junk we accumulate in today's society.

I swear, every time I turn around there are new things to buy, new gadgets and accessories to look at and purchase. We just seem to be a space-filling culture: if there are more nooks and crannies that we can fill, we will. Makes me glad that we had the foresight to protect certain areas of wilderness, lest we build them over completely.

Of course, I'm a prime culprit - I collect little plastic army men for crying out loud. But maybe I should try more to moderate it, and keep it under control. Still more cleaning to do, so we'll see what happens next.

Luck be a Lady Tonight

So, I'm playing in my friend Raymond's Warhammer campaign at the moment, bringing my Alpha Legion into the region of space we're fighting over to conquer and manipulate in the name of Alpharius, my Primarch and lord. Been getting a lot of games in recently, and there's really been one common thread to all of them.

I've gotten really, really lucky.

Now, before you say it: yes, Warhammer is a dice game. All wins really come down to luck, don't they? Well, not usually. Quite a bit of strategy can be employed, and there are plenty of ways to mitigate the dice and make them not a factor. Whether it be sheer weight of fire you provide against your opponent, the strength of your guns, what have you. And most good lists will do their best to do this.

So I'm not entirely sure what it says about me, my army list, and my playstyle that the last three games I've played have been decided because of one die roll: Random Game Length. This roll happens at the end of Turn 5, and has a 2/3 chance to take the game to Turn 6, and then one on that turn has a 1/3 chance to bring the game to Turn 7, which is definitely the last turn.

So my first game would have been a win for my opponent on 5, a tie on 6, and I finally won on 7. My second game was only won by me because the game ended on 5, I would have lost everyone I had on the table had it gone to 6. And my latest game again was only won because the game went to turn 7.

I'm not sure if I need to change my tactics or my list, though I'm thinking a higher concentration of firepower is required, as I ran much the same list in games one and three with much the same result. The second game had a one-off fun list, so I'm not sure if it really tells me much. I'll have to do some experimentation and see what I can come up with.

At some point this week I'll post some army lists and compare what we've got. Stay tuned, if ye be interested.

Conundrum

So I've kinda gone off on a Warhammer tangent, haven't I? Time to swing back around to all that other stuff I promised in that first post.

Ever since I was a kid, I've considered myself a writer. I'm pretty decent at it; not New York Times Bestseller level, maybe, but I'm not bad. I have a knack for storytelling that could only have been given by God. Even now, when I think of who and what I am, one of the first words to come to mind is 'writer'.

So I find myself bothered by the fact that I haven't written a word of fiction in weeks.

I know why it is. Working an early morning shift leaves me exhausted when I get home, and I struggle between work, trying to spend as much time as I can with my wonderful new wife, and still have something resembling a social life. I just don't get a chance to sit down and write like I want to. I even have a story half-finished that I need to complete for a submission deadline. I just can't motivate myself to get it done.

So why am I sitting here doing a blog when I should be doing that, you ask? Because I'm trying to set up habits. If I can make myself write for a little while every day, even about something so meta as writing, then maybe I can discipline myself to get my stories finished. To tell what it is I want to tell. Because if I wait on the mood, I'm going to be waiting a long, long time.

Or at least until I get a job not on the freakishly early shift.

Time Travel of the Mundane Variety

I'm a sci-fi fan, so time travel is something I'm very familiar with (though tenses still give me trouble; English was not meant to handle causal loops!). Unfortunately, I don't get to have any of the fun variety in real life.

Nope, we've just go the mundane type: travelling to the future at a rate of one second per second.

This week has been one where I've just needed a few more hours here and there, to try and keep myself on track. Between things that need doing around the house, trying to get in time with friends, that little thing called work (which happens for me at stupid o'clock in the morning), and trying to make sure I'm rested enough for it all, I just haven't been able to get it all done. And of course, stealing an hour of my weekend from me didn't help, government mandated Daylight Savings.

Hopefully tonight will be better, though it's still a busy day. Training on a new system at church for the Sunday morning service broadcast will be fun and interesting, and I need to get a few things done at home since it's a nice day. Hopefully I'll be awake enough to get it all done.

And hopefully I can get myself on a schedule of doing the blog like I promised I would in that first post. Or even ahead.

Though let's not be crazy.